Dear Richard: HIV - When to Ask, When to Tell

Dear Richard,

I'm HIV positive.  I've been dating this guy for about two months. He's 25, I'm 28, and I assume he’s HIV negative.

He's amazing. He's so full of life, so exciting to be around, and totally not jaded like a lot of other guys in New York. We met through mutual friends, would hang out with everyone in the group, but then started seeing each other. It soon became clear we were dating.

Then last night we hooked up for the first time. It was so spontaneous and so right, but as it was happening I just didn't have the heart to say anything. I was scared—to ruin what was growing between us, or to have that group of friends possibly find out about me. It was just nice to be dating someone and not think about it for a while.

Now I’m worried I’ve messed everything up. I feel like I should have said something sooner, but because I didn’t I worry he’s going to hate me for it, or feel betrayed or something. What do I do?

Hurting My Honey

YOUR ADVICE?

Read RICHARD's Advice: Gay.net - Dear Richard: HIV - When to Ask, When to Tell